(Skip this step if you bought pre-riced cauliflower) Cut the cauliflower through the middle into 4 parts and remove the leafy outside. Put the shredder blade in your food processor and then feed the cauliflower down through the top chute while the machine is on to create the cauliflower rice. You may have to cut the cauliflower up a bit smaller to get it to fit in the chute. Alternatively you can use your regular S-blade, but you may have to do this in batches so you don't wind up with cauliflower puree. And yet another option if you don't have a food processor - use a grater and grate the cauliflower into rice.
Heat a large pan over medium heat. Add the cooking oil and let get warm. Then add the cauliflower rice and salt and cook for about 5 minutes, stirring occasionally. (Strain excess liquid off if using frozen cauliflower). Add the butter/ghee/coconut oil, let melt, then mix in. Add the coconut milk and cilantro and mix in. Serve.
If you are using coconut oil instead of butter, I recommend expeller pressed oil (the flavorless type) unless you really like the coconutty taste of extra virgin. It might be too much coconut flavor though with that and the coconut milk, but if you like it, go for it!If you're doing AIP, use coconut or avocado oil as the cooking oil and coconut oil in step 2 instead of butter or ghee.